Saturday, July 26, 2008


Always set your message and ring tone with the lion dance music. Make sure you have it on LOUD.

Its good when your in a tense/awkward situation where nobody seems to be talking or everybodys too afraid to make a sound.

When that bad boy rings, itll be a brand new day.

When your in a crowd.

Just look up and stare at it for a while. People will start join in. When they start looking up and ask whats happening.

Walk away.

Use a 70s 80s disco music for ur ring tone.

The funk is good.

Memorize a few Chuck Norris facts.

For those of you who dont know Chuck Norris. Hes a martial artist. Famous in the tv series Walker: Texas Ranger. Very old series.

He's also acted in quiet a lot of action movies. The thing bout Chuck Norris movies is that he, very much like Steven Seagal, never gets punched, kicked, thrown. His movies make him look absurdly tough and unkillable. Its just inhuman.

He's made out to be the perfect killer. A super soldier (Most of his roles is as a commando). The ultimate human kung fu machine. He can headshot you 500 kilometres away with an air gun.

The only person whos ever beaten him (movie wise) was Bruce Lee. Chuck was the villain.

Because he is made out to be so insanely untouchable in his movies, people have come out with a bunch of joke facts.

· When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
· Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
· There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
· Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
· Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
· Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
· Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
· There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
· When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
· Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
· Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
· Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
· Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
· Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Hes so tough, he uses graters as toilet tissue !!